I need to connect with people.

I've put it off for weeks, now. Stayed in a summer mindset, been sluggish and gone with the inertia and figured things would pick up later. People have been back on campus for a month or more, and I've barely tried to reach out. It's just all work, and home with Alex, and meetings when they happen. I've talked to Kyle plenty, naturally, but it's always business, always details of this or that for Peace Project, and I don't know how to change that right now. I haven't talked to Peter for more than 5 minutes this fall, I don't think.

Lexi and Suj each came up to me separately tonight, after the NOWAR meeting before we started working on drafting the SCFC proposal, and said that we should get together soon for tea or coffee or something. I felt really good about that, and excited, and I hope I get to spend some time with both of them this weekend. But I'm going to be gone for 2 1/2 of the next 3 weeks. By the time I get back to Evanston it'll be November, halfway through everyone's fall quarter. That worries me. Will it be too late? Will it make fitting myself into people's patterns too much of a challenge?

I dunno. It's odd how sometimes I can crave connections desperately, like last spring, and then turn around and be completely content for months with spending oodles of wonderful time with Alex and talking to Eileen online and phonecalls with my parents. And I've been too slow to pull myself out of that, but I'm suddenly really regretting it. There are people I want to be closer to, and I'm not making any progress on that right now, and it's sad.

Well, all I can say is that I need to work on it, I guess. A little bit this weekend, and more when I get back. Friendships are important, and as wonderful and fulfilling as my relationship with Alex is, I can't just fall back on that and ignore everyone else. I need to be talking to and spending time with people I care about and people who care about me.  ¶ 10:44 PM