Well, here I am, finishing up the three-day weekend I got after my very first week of work. And damn, did I need it. That first week of work was exciting, it was amazing, it was fascinating-- but more than anything, it was overwhelming, and I'm not sure I could have managed a fifth day of it without my head exploding. Now, however, I'm all relaxed and decompressed, and ready to take Monday head-on.

It already feels-- well, not normal yet exactly, but like it will be normal sooner or later. I think I can do this. I think I can enjoy doing this. I'm way over my head at the moment, and if I still feel this way in a month I'm in big trouble-- but I have this quiet feeling that it will be okay. It's really frightening that this is the real world now, that how well I do the tasks set out before me will affect other people's lives in serious, fundamental ways. I'm nervous as hell about that. But I think I can do alright. It's far too early to know if I'll excel at this, but I've just got to trust that I'm smart enough and capable enough to get by without letting down the people who are counting on me.

And in the meantime... I have to figure out how I fit into the world of Northwestern now. On the one hand, in my head student activism here at Northwestern seems out of place in my new life. Yet in some ways, it feels more right now than ever before, and looking at what I've given three years of my life to, I don't want to stop working and fighting until I'm dragged away kicking and screaming. I don't know. I'll definitely be at least finishing out this year; then I guess I'll have to do some serious thinking...  ¶ 7:37 PM