Perpetually Unfinished
Sunday, March 28, 2004
And suddenly my life is changing, very rapidly.

I have a job. I'm not going to babble about it here, not quite yet, since it's not technically official yet. But suffice it to say that this is the job I was hoping for. I don't know for sure what I want to do with the rest of my life-- but this was my first choice of something to try for a couple years to see how it fits me. I'm excited, although I can't quite believe it's real.

I'll likely start a week from tomorrow, on April 5th.

I'm going to get my driver's license again. It's kind of scary, after all the accidents in summer 2001, but I was going to have to get back behind the wheel sooner or later, and it was a condition of getting this job. I just sent New Jersey $200 so they'll tell Illinois it's okay to issue me a permit. (Apparently, even though they send out notifications to anyone who's had two "incidents" in their first two years of driving, telling folks they need to take a probationary driving course, you in fact only need to pay for the course, not actually take it, to clear your record. Does that seem a little off to you?) Then I need to find some way to brush up on my driving and take my road test, preferably not shelling out $65 an hour to a driving school, although that may be unavoidable. Anyone know someone with a car who wants some easy money for taking me to my driving test sometime in late April?

Oh, and then I need to buy a car. Two weeks ago I wasn't expecting to drive again until I had kids, and now I'm looking to buy a car. And since I want a safe and reliable one, I'm probably going to be shelling out some money for this, instead of looking for a cousin to the 1982 Datsun Stanza which served me well until its unfortunate demise that fateful summer.

But never fear, because, y'know, I'm going to be getting a paycheck. A real one. One that will cover rent, and student loan payments, and car payments, and car insurance (I shudder to think what my premiums will be), with money left over for fun, and to save for retirement, and to start saving for crazy things in my not-too-distant future like a wedding and a down payment on a house. And to finally start sending money to my parents (to help them make the payments on the tens of thousands of dollars in loans they took out to put me through Northwestern) instead of them always sending money to me. I'll be financially self-sufficient, and then some. Me, Britt.

Tomorrow, classes start again here at Northwestern, and they're starting without me. In a week, the rest of my life begins.

Damn, it's weird.
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Wednesday, March 17, 2004
We get Tom Brokaw. Penn gets Bono.

Does this seem fair to you?
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Friday, March 05, 2004
Had my first job interview today-- it went well, I thought. (For The Spencer Foundation... up on floor 39 of the Hancock building. Where you need a spiffy key card to get the elevators to run, and it took me a good 45 seconds to figure out how to make it work-- don't laugh!) I should have another one soon (knock on wood!) with SEIU. (They're only on the 25th floor, and their building uses normal elevators.)

I have just realized that since a) I am an extremely indecisive person, and b) deciding where to work is one of the biggest decisions I'll have had to make so far in my young life, then c) I'm really quite screwed, I think. Look forward to watching me squirm in indecision and probably blow my best opportunities (or just piss off anyone who actually does make a job offer by asking for "some time" to think about it and then taking a month or three). I hope I'm wrong about the latter scenarios, at least, but I think the former is inescapable. (Says the girl who applied to 11 colleges because she couldn't bear to narrow her list down any further.)
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Nature attains perfection, but man never does. There is a perfect ant, a perfect bee, but man is perpetually unfinished. He is both an unfinished animal and an unfinished man. It is this incurable unfinishedness which sets man apart from other living things. For, in the attempt to finish himself, man becomes a creator. Moreover, the incurable unfinishedness keeps man perpetually immature, perpetually capable of learning and growing.
--Eric Hoffer

Malavika (and the rest of The Quitters)

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